AITA for adding on to my wife's lies to make them so stupid she will stop?
AITAFEATURED
Seeing that she wasn't about to quit this hobby of hers, I decided to employ a tactic so radical, it would make even the writers of sitcoms blush. Every time she pulls a fast one, I make it even more preposterous. Our 6'4" son? Make that 6'10". Oh, and did you hear? He's being recruited for the NBA... from our living room.
When Lies Have Legs... And an Extra Testicle
We all embellish a little, right? "The fish was THIS big," or "I totally crushed that interview!" But my wife, oh, she's in a league of her own. I mean, she's like the Michael Jordan of bending the truth. She takes the art of lying to new and unprecedented heights—literally, since she claimed her grandfather was 6'7" and our son is 6'4" when he's barely taller than me. (For the record, I'm a respectable 6'1").
The White Lies: Only Harmless Until They're Not
Now, my wife insists these are harmless white lies, but as one insightful commenter said, "But they aren't harmless white lies, are they? They are lies intended to outdo whoever is telling their own story. She seems to want to be the bride at every wedding, and the corpse at every funeral." My sentiments exactly! I mean, if someone mentions their tropical vacation, she suddenly recalls that time we were personally invited to Richard Branson's private island.
My Strategy: One-Up Her One-Upsmanship
Seeing that she wasn't about to quit this hobby of hers, I decided to employ a tactic so radical, it would make even the writers of sitcoms blush. Every time she pulls a fast one, I make it even more preposterous. Our 6'4" son? Make that 6'10". Oh, and did you hear? He's being recruited for the NBA... from our living room.
Our son had testicular torsion? Well, did my wife mention he was born with three testicles? Yeah, he's something of a medical marvel. Oh, and our daughter didn't just ace high school; she was so brilliant, they made her valedictorian and salutatorian. Heck, they're considering naming the school library after her.
The Reckoning: The Bride and the Corpse
So, how's it going, you ask? Well, my wife has stopped telling her tall tales around me. But elsewhere, she still plays the bride at every wedding and, as one commenter quipped, the "corpse at every funeral." She's accused me of being an asshole for undermining her 'artistic liberties' with the truth.
A Sitcom Character We All Love to Roll Our Eyes At
One person commented, "NTA sounds like something from a sitcom, and your wife is the character no one can stand." I must admit, I found that pretty hilarious. She's not a character you'd want written off the show; she makes it far too interesting! But if there's one thing I've learned from sitcoms, it's that characters can grow, change, and even laugh at themselves. So here's hoping life imitates art, and she'll see the humor in my absurd add-ons and reconsider her own.