AITA for saying my MIL acts as though she’s in a relationship with my SO?
AITA
Caught in a love triangle with your spouse and...their mom? You won't believe how this wife navigates the murky waters of marriage, mother-in-laws, and the countdown to motherhood. Read on and weigh in: Is she the asshole, or is it high time for hubby and MIL to cut the apron strings?
When the Mother-in-Law Acts Like the Wife, Who's Really the Asshole Here?
They say that when you marry someone, you marry their family, too. But what happens when your spouse's loyalty to their family undermines the very foundation of your marital relationship? In this harrowing tale, a young woman grappling with her own pregnancy finds herself in a tense love triangle—between her husband and his mother.
The Early Signs
When the protagonist of this story, a 26-year-old woman, reached the six-month mark of her pregnancy, she found herself in need of some assistance. From setting up the nursery to preparing for her upcoming labor, she had a lot on her plate. But when she asked her 32-year-old husband for help, his reply was disheartening, to say the least: "You know my mom comes before you."
The "I Won" Moment
As if disregarding the needs of his pregnant wife wasn't enough, the husband further prioritized his mother over his wife, a dynamic encouraged by the mother-in-law herself. After one of her husband's visits to his mother's house, the protagonist received a call from her mother-in-law, who gleefully exclaimed, "I won," while her son—her husband—laughed in the background.
The Forgotten Anniversary
When the couple's anniversary rolled around, the wife prepared a loving dinner and a thoughtful gift. However, she was met with disappointment when her husband chose to spend the special day at his mother's house. Frustrated and feeling secondary, she blurted out, "She might as well be having your kid, you clearly seem like you're with her," sparking a flood of angry messages from both her husband and mother-in-law.
The Ultimatum
After posting her dilemma online and receiving a slew of comments pointing out the unhealthy dynamic between her husband and his mother, our protagonist has had an epiphany. She's now considering issuing an ultimatum or even getting a divorce, as she feels her mother-in-law is intentionally competing with her for her own husband's attention.
Who's the Asshole?
While it's easy to point fingers at the husband or the manipulative mother-in-law, it's important to consider the broader implications here. This story isn't just about a single argument or issue; it's about setting boundaries, respecting your partner, and being present in the relationship you've committed to. The true asshole here would be anyone who perpetuates a toxic dynamic that leaves no room for a healthy, loving marriage.
Reader Comments:
"Wow, this story hits close to home. I've been in a similar situation and let me tell you, it doesn't get better unless boundaries are set. Kudos to the writer for considering an ultimatum; sometimes that's what it takes to shake things up."
"The mother-in-law clearly overstepped her boundaries. She's not just disrespecting her daughter-in-law, but she's also damaging her own son's marriage. This is just unacceptable behavior."
"I understand that family is important, but marriage is a partnership. The husband in this story needs to remember that his wife should be his priority now, especially with a baby on the way. He needs to grow up!"
"If this was just an isolated incident, I would say it's manageable. But this is a pattern. The wife should not have to compete with her mother-in-law for her own husband's attention. Ultimatum or divorce seem like the only sensible paths forward."
"Not to blame the victim here, but the wife also needs to stand her ground. If she's only now realizing the depth of this issue, there's a lot of internal work to be done as well. Both parties need therapy and clear communication to make this marriage work."
"As someone who has been married for over 30 years, let me tell you: marriage is hard work and full of compromises. But the compromises should come from both sides. What this husband is doing isn't compromise; it's neglect. His wife is right to consider drastic measures."
"This is not just about who's the asshole. This story serves as a warning for everyone to set boundaries and expectations clearly before tying the knot. It's a tragedy that it had to come to this point, especially with a child on the way."
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